Chris's life

2008年3月31日,181的608的2号位,我终于把7年前买的那部panasonic discman永远地放进了抽屉.我已经忘了当时买的时候的心情了,但此时此刻突然觉得好舒坦,其实,不管过去怎么想,不管经历过什么,是笑过还是哭过,此刻都不再怀念.但是作为旧欢,是不是多少还是觉得有点惋惜呢?但我曾经不知惋惜过多少遍了,从一开始总是充电充不满,没多长时间就没电,到现在完全拒绝我开机,绞尽脑汁并深信还有希望到最后还是应该死心吧.

妈妈总是说我三分钟热度,是啊,新欢旧爱之间不是总在命理之中吗,所以我是忘了自己三分钟热度的人生哲理吗?还是我误以为恪守最初便能得到善终?我已经忘了应该要怎么去修理那个令人恼火的机器了,或许历史的洪流就应该将它淹没,不是吗?

希望真的可以说到做到,再也不去触碰它,再也不自找麻烦,再也不......

重温了Andy同梅艳芳和吴君如主演的爱君如梦,突然很有感触,怀念起香港过去90年代的巨星风范,本来就很喜欢梅艳芳,喜欢她如花的郁郁寡欢,喜欢她女人四十里面的朴实,还有她独特的歌声,唱夕阳之歌时候悲壮但坚定的感情,一切的一切,都让我对这个已经与世长辞的巨星有着与我这个年纪不相称的喜爱.

但这部电影里面最吸引我的还不是梅艳芳,从电影名字就可见一斑,擅长搞笑和耍宝的吴君如就是当之无愧的女主角.对于吴君如,我不能说得上喜爱,但她的确是一个出色的女演员.很少会看到吴君如在认真地流泪,或者是动情地低泣.吴君如擅长演绎小人物和挣扎于社会底层的草根,面对困苦总是以自嘲式的苦笑一笑而过,从不刻意张扬过多的情绪和不必要的技巧,那个具有喜剧效果的逗号状的眉毛就已经能够把无奈的心情刻画得惟妙惟肖.在这部电影里面,吴君如依旧是扮演一个相貌平平但对生活对感情都认真和默默付出的草根人物,她暗恋刘老师的秘密一直藏于心底直到一天晚上刘老师送她回家才恍然知道原来她一直对自己有好感.吴君如把一个大大咧咧具有真性情的女孩演绎得很到位.在我看来,她甚至明明知道刘老师不会爱上她,她还是甘愿默默地去付出和等待,可能最后得到的就只是别人为了同情她而和她跳的一支舞,但她却傻得很是认真.

电影剧情有点老土,但配乐和里面的歌曲都不错,最重要是演员都很好,重温一遍依然觉得深刻.

网上对这部电影的翻译普遍翻为"暹罗之恋",但看过电影之后,我觉得爱在暹罗更能体现主创人的意图.

之前看过泰国的电影就只有晚娘,实在有点不堪入目,所以泰国的电影给我的刻板印象就是情色,荒淫.知道这部电影是因为那天在MSF上班的时候Zoe好花痴地讲起了报纸上面登的关于这部电影的男主角Mario,这个被誉为亚洲第一美少男的混血儿.的确,看了电影之后,觉得非常赏心悦目.虽然电影的男女主角都是青涩的帅哥美女,但电影情节非常感人.故事传达出来的,关于爱情,关于亲情,关于友情的讯息非常强烈和令人感叹.虽然电影还是以腐女最爱的BL为主线,但这是我看蓝色大门还有盛夏光年之后感觉最为真实和最为自然的,清新的对白还有并不完美的结局都让人惋惜.

当然,电影里面很大篇幅讲了Tong家庭,Mew和姥姥之间的,Ying和两位男主角之间的故事,非常真实和有诚意.每个人的爱都是那么的无私和全心全意.生活中的苦与乐,爱情里面的挣扎,友情当中的模糊不清,亲情里面的理解,总是看到了自己真实生活里面的种种.正如电影的一直强调的"只要有爱,就有希望",对啊,心中充满爱,不论是对家人,对朋友,对喜欢的人,都能让自己活得富足.

PS:泰文在电影中发挥了奇妙的效果,不知道为什么,泰文感觉很平民化很生活化,不像法文或者欧洲的一些语言那样高高在上.

拖着疲惫的身体从MSF的office回到了宿舍,无意中翻开了放在桌上的思想汇报,看到了费省同学端正的批注,由此突然怀念起远在太平洋彼岸可爱的费费.

如果不是2+2,现在费省同学应该就是608的一员了.少了你的608总是感觉少了很多乐趣,你驰名中外的经典故事,还有让人惊叹的英文口音,再是你锲而不舍的泡妞精神,说起这个还真的挺讽刺的,要知道你之前的床位睡着的正是你的XX,所谓仇人见面分外眼红,一代新人换旧人,长江后浪推前浪,十年人事几翻新......总之,费费,远在异国他乡的你,就断了情根,好好过上酒池肉林的生活吧,哈哈......

看到你写的这段话,我都几乎要哭出来了,怎能不miss you呢?

子远:

在一年共同的相处中,我觉得你是一个一直对自己严格要求并不断进步的人.一年的党章学习小组的学习中.你一点一点成长,成熟.希望你可以再接再厉,一步一步坚定地向着党靠拢!

                                                                                                      费省 2006.11

是啊,曾几何时我们还一起乱哈啦,讲感情谈未来,你人前人后总是那么谦虚甚至自卑,但内里却总是热情如火,总有宏大的理想,总有超越的勇气,也总是竭尽所能地去争取.你总是鼓励我,总是让我对自己还存有点信心.你总是容易崇拜别人,总是以别人为典范但从不知道其实你也很棒,你也是很多人的idol.

我喜欢你肆无忌惮地唱歌,从不介意别人的目光,从不怀疑和隐藏自己的感情.记得我在参加"我型我show"的时候,ash说你在台下跟我一起大声唱祝我生日快乐,甚至比我还尽情,是啊,那次赢了都是因为你啊,没有你的鼓励没有你的支持我还能得到什么呢?但我却傻得之后才知道那天是你的生日......

我们都是David Tao的FANS,但你那次问我知不知道katrina这首歌的时候,我居然没听过!然后你就又用你近乎native的accent唱起了这首歌,在这里,送给你katrina,希望有一天你来到这里的时候可以安静地把她听完.

面完了交换生项目,走出面试室的时候我就悔恨不已.我每次都告诉自己,一定得死活抓住每一个可以表现的机会.但总是每次话到嘴边就一千个理由让自己退缩了下来.我不能丢脸,我不能讲有失礼节的话,不能表现得不够格调,不能跟别人雷同,甚至不能容许别人对我的话毫无反应......我一向以为,当你控制你的情绪的时候你会显得异常的高雅,然而这样却往往令自己失去真我.

我回想起和Mandy一起评头论足的嘴贱,说得起并贱得起的本领一在决胜关头我就变得不人性---假装深思熟虑,伪装成中庸并厚道,掩饰心中的热血......所有的所有,其实,我是在折磨自己的同时但并没有讨好别人.

大多数时候,机会并不是不小心错过的,而是因为太小心造成的.高格调自己总是会让大家对你有所期望,但当芝麻绿豆的事情发生在你身上的时候,跟发生在一个痞子时候却大相径庭.竭尽所能地去妖魔化自己,说不定还能得到几分同情和破釜沉舟的勇气,当然,于我而言,妖魔化大可不必,但求有话直说,该谦谦君子的时候就当回君子,该三八的时候也可以毫不犹豫,收放自如也许能更人性化.

所以我又回到了中文的世界,毕竟,我还是一个每天会上来看是否有人留言给我的小气鬼,英文实在是有碍观瞻,途人经过都实在无法在不熟悉的文字当中获得一丝丝窥探的欲望,何来冲动去说三道四呢?

真我万岁!释放万岁!

Actually I admit that  I have been homesick for a long time. With the no-stopped business,I have no choice and have to stay. Finished the opening ceremony I can't wait anymore so take the package and run back home. I felt so excited when I met mami and grandma. Grandma got better and better.That's really a piece of good news.I enjoyed mum's soup and taking morning tea with grandma.When I supported grandma with hands I sensed I was strong enough to protect my family and that was my responsibility.Suddenly I considered I couldn't ask money from my parents for no reason.I am adult now and I love my family and I wanted my mum to enjoy her life. Forget all the insignificant bullshit fxxking things and step forward!

Thanks for Joe's support.You are my best friend forever.wish you have a bright future.But be a little sad coz you said you didn't consider going to UK any longer. Anyway I will be independent even though without your accompanying days.Thanks for your help of my IELTS~~~

After the application of the Exchange program,I will apply myself to the self-changing innovation.I wanna a new life style and a new attitude to the people.So keep busy,yep!

No class and no job in MSF,SO ,what should I do?

All the PMs are settled down and this time I know I may try to change my style and my thought. Maybe I have to trust the people that are not familiar with myself.Everyone have got the different talent.I should diversify the LC and organize all the members to join the projects.Anyway,prompting is my first responsibility now.

I wanna go out and insist of planting. That is a part of the whole.It can't be cancelled for any reason.So whatever,everything is going to be well.

The sixth Lingnan Salon is going to be close with the CEO of Myspace.cn Mr. Luo Chuan.IT industry should be new for the people.Strong guest and strong theme,welcome all of you to come with us.

Forget all the unhappiness and keep it up!

Finally Opening ceremony was over. With the relax mood, I wanna be rest for a while.

So,why such complicated?why take the position and order and something bullshit for granted?What's the fxxking regulation!Don't talk to me all are deserved.So why somebody have the right to take a seat in a brilliant hall and enjoy all the people's service and just no way for somebody ?What do we waste lots of money and resources for?

It makes me confused and frustrated.BUt Actually it releases me also.This time I have got the freedom.

These days I am always  at war with the opening ceremony. To be honest I feel so scared that I can't take eyes on all the detail. I told to myself that I can't fail and I am strong enough to hold a tremendous activity. But this time it's absolutely wrong. I can sense the pressure and I can sense the difference. I'm not a individual but be representative for a whole LC. It aways confuses me so much. One side I would like to do some significative business,but on the other side I have to compromise for the reality.I have to consider the feeling of all the people in LC. So what is the balance?

Influenced by the circumstance,I could smell something wrong. MEANWHILE I am in this position so I have to take the responsibility and do my best.

Dream and reality are always not parallel.That's the distinction.

Angel---Sarah Mclachlan

A soft vocal I never heard before. When the music sounds around, I feel a little bit touching and a compulsion of crying araises.

Let's experience the peaceful and warm vocal at this moment......

You spend all your time waiting for that second chance
For a break that would make it OK
There's always some reason to feel not good enough
And it's hard at the end of the day
I need some distraction, oh, beautiful release
Memory seep from my veins
Let me be empty, oh, and weightless
And maybe I'll find some peace tonight
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
McLachlan Sarah
And the endlessness that you fear
You are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
You're so tired of the straight line, and everywhere you turn
There's vultures and thieves at your back
The storm keeps on twisting, you keep on building the lies
That you make up for all that you lack
It don't make no difference
Escaping one last time, it's easier to believe
In this sweet madness, oh, this glorious sadness
That brings me to my knees
In the arms of the angel
Fly away from here
From this dark cold hotel room
And the endlessness that you fear
Oh, you are pulled from the wreckage
Of your silent reverie
You're in the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here
In the arms of the angel
May you find some comfort here